WordSmith

Good parenting

sometimesice — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 03:50:39 +0000

If i was a girl, i would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so i would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then i would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house, and i would do it until i had so many that the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses, then i would have a kid and when they’re bad i would make them sit in the fetus room.

“Lossy” mp3′s

sometimesice — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 03:48:15 +0000

Hearing the difference now isn’t the reason to encode to FLAC. FLAC uses lossless compression, while MP3 is ‘lossy’. What this means is that for each year the MP3 sits on your hard drive, it will lose roughly 12kbps, assuming you have SATA – it’s about 15kbps on IDE, but only 7kbps on SCSI, due to rotational velocidensity. You don’t want to know how much worse it is on CD-ROM or other optical media.

I started collecting MP3s in about 2001, and if I try to play any of the tracks I downloaded back then, even the stuff I grabbed at 320kbps, they just sound like crap. The bass is terrible, the midrange…well don’t get me started. Some of those albums have degraded down to 32 or even 16kbps. FLAC rips from the same period still sound great, even if they weren’t stored correctly, in a cool, dry place. Seriously, stick to FLAC, you may not be able to hear the difference now, but in a year or two, you’ll be glad you did.

Cheeseburger

sometimesice — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 03:19:28 +0000

So, I was in McDonald’s the other day and this gorgeous girl, maybe 9 or 10, with a nice tight ass wrapped in a thong and shorts was in line in front of me. She got her food and was turning around and a cheeseburger fell off. She was amazingly fast and grabbed the burger midfall, bending over slightly and thrusting her cute little buttocks my direction.

It was all I could do to keep from eye fucking her right then and there. She turned and looked at me staring at her ass. I looked up, embarrassed. She just giggled. She asked “Did you like that?” I replied, “Yeah, that was an amazing snatch!” Well, one thing led to another. I’m now writing this from jail. Please send money for bail.

The ugly truth

sometimesice — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 08:28:06 +0000

How does it feel to be unattractive in this world where beauty means absolutely EVERYTHING for a girl? How does it feel to watch the guy you have a big crush on chase religiously after a HOT girl, and completely ignores you no matter how hard you try to get noticed? How does it feel to be never able to have your prince charming, and happily ever after, like you always dreamt? How does it feel to be with a loser boyfriend who you try very hard to like and only because you are way too sad and lonely?

Unattractive girls CANNOT BE HAPPY. It’s true, because beauty means EVERYTHING for a girl. It’s different for guys, a guy can be ugly, but if he’s strong and brave (Shrek), has a big heart (Hunchback of Notre Dame), or makes a lot of money (Trump), he can always get the most amazing beautiful girls and be happy. When is the last time you had an ugly or fat female protagonist in a story? Ever? It’s “BEAUTY and the Beast”, you never get “the Prince and the Manatee”. For girls, if you are ugly, no matter how successful or how much of a good person you are, no one will ever want you. It’s the sad truth

Gear

sometimesice — Sat, 30 May 2009 12:25:35 +0000

Folosesc asta cu asta atasat (2 baterii). Am vandut toate obiectivele adunate cu timpul (si obiectivul kit) si am ramas doar cu asta. Pe timp de noapte sau zi folosesc asta cu mici accesorii. Am renuntat la restul de strobs si lighting accesories (rar foloseam). Aici se aduna pozele (vreo 3 bucati). Toate se arunca in back-pack(no name si nici nu gasesc link). Majoritatea pozelor sunt procesate pe un deskcomputer (configuratie cat sa ruleze Adobe) mai vechi, on the go folosesc si asta iar totul se stocheaza (ca back-up) pe asta. Adobe sau Lightroom (CS4 si 2.1), un account pe flickr si alte cateva site-uri.

Next post: o sa explic de ce alea si nu altele. De nu fac upgrade si de ce bla bla bla

Women

sometimesice — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 00:11:53 +0000

Women are not actually attracted to men. There is a vague idea of what a man is physically, and some are better than others aesthetically speaking, but the purely physical appearance of a man is almost inconsequential unless he is horribly ugly or outrageously attractive. Women are attracted to status, money, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends and resources a man has, how full a man’s life is–how many “cool,” “exciting” and prestigious things he is doing or connected to. They are interested in how other people view him–how many people want to be around him, how other people interact with him and whether their interactions convey that he is special and amazing. They want him to be extremely outgoing and aggressive, they want him to demonstrate his status over other people by dominating them in various non-violent ways. A woman’s attraction to a man is a function of her jealousy at the thought of another woman having that man. She doesn’t care who he actually is or EXACTLY what he looks like physically, she only cares about the VALUE of the life he has constructed around himself. A woman basically is a greedy materialistic prostitute. Although that sounds vulgar, it’s true. She trades her physical self to buy into the success a man has created for himself. As a man, I fall in love with how a woman is physically. I fall in love with simple parts of a woman. Like the way her hair falls around her face, the line of her neck, her shoulders. They way her ears might peek from her hair. Her eyelashes. The size and shape of her hands, her fingernails. The way she walks, the way she looks when she is tired or annoyed, the sound she makes when she sneezes, coughs, or cries. The way she sits in a chair. The way she breathes while experiencing different emotions. The way her lips move. A million little things. Sure, a huge part of my attraction is mental, but the powerful seed of love that builds within me and crystallizes is based greatly on visual things that set off torrents of emotion and need. It seems to me that women almost cannot think for themselves. Their estimates of worth are based on other peoples’ estimates of worth. They don’t really find an object beautiful on their own. The object becomes beautiful when other people let her know that it is beautiful. I’m completely unable to reconcile the differences between men and women. It seems like success with women is equal to spending half of your life working to create a giant illusion, something vastly tiring and annoying, while sacrificing your own true self and your own interests. We construct our lives around nest-building. We’re like male birds building nests and showing them off to attract mates. It’s pathetic. Everything we do is to get women. It is a fucking shit deal. Someone needs to invent a drug which has no hormonal imbalance side-effects but is able to erase a man’s sex drive and attraction to women. It would increase productivity rates to incredible heights. I’d be free and happy. I’d feel complete.

Wiimote Threesome

sometimesice — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 21:45:36 +0000

So my dad is out of town for the weekend, and I figure I’ll just stay up getting high and fapping. Later in the afternoon, I’m a little blazed and the doorbell rings. I figure the neighbor kid lost another ball over our fence, so I answer it. Turns out it’s a couple girls I go to school with, they’re both stone cold foxes. I tried asking one of them out the previous year, but it kind fell through. They say that they were bored and decided to drive over and say hi since they knew my dad is out of town. I’m still pretty stoned at this point, so I just kinda mumble and invite them in. I ask them what they want to do, then, since I’ve got these two hot chicks alone with me at my house, I try to act funny and say, “You two wanna come downstairs and play with my Wii?” It was funny to me at the time, but for some reason they just looked at each other and giggled. So we went downstairs and I started up Wii Sports, since it’s easy to play.

I sit down on the couch and they both take a seat on either side of me. I hand them each a remote and instead of standing up to play, they snuggle up to me. I start em out on Tennis, and we’re all sitting there laughing at their attempts to play. One thing that really get them is how the Wiimote vibrates when they hit the ball. After a few games one of them says that she can smell pot, and asks if I’ve got anymore. Imagine my luck, two hot girls wanna get high with me alone in my house. So we all take a few hits, and they’re laughing harder than ever. We keep playing for a while, trying out different games, until one of them presses the Wiimote to her nipple as it vibrates. She does a real fake pornstar moan and laughs, but I can see her nipple standing out through the shirt. Right now, my dick is rock hard and almost poking out through my pants

I take the Wiimote and laughing with them say, “Watch” as I put it over my crotch and it vibrates. They think this is hilarious, but I can see that they’ve noticed my boner. One of them takes the Wiimote from me and does than same, except she’s practically jamming the Wiimote into herself through her pants. So here I am, sitting in my basement while these two girls are practically fucking each other with my Wiimotes. I’m thinking, wow, how much better can this get?

Then the one on my right takes off her pants. She’s not laughing, just smiling and saying “This thing is almost as good as what I use at home.” My mouth is hanging open, and the other girl is just laughing and watching. We’re in Tennis mode and she starts rubbing herself, moaning each time the remote vibrates.

Now the other girl takes my Wiimote and does the same, taking off her pants. This time, though, she goes right for it and jams the whole thing in herself. Without even thinking, I’m rubbing myself in my pants, almost ready to come. The first girl looks over at me and says, “What? Are you getting jealous?” With a smile she puts down the Wiimote and leans over, she takes off my jeans and my erection pops out through my boxers. She kneels in front of me, while the other girl starts kissing at my face. I was surprised I hadn’t come already, I guess it was the weed slowing down my physical functions. All I see is her smiling face inching down to my rigid cock mouth agape, the other one is watching too, rubbing herself while she jams her tongue into my open mouth.

I feel her warm, moist mouth envelop my cock. I can tell she’s having trouble getting it all in, but the feeling is amazing. Slowly she works my cock in her mouth, wrapping her tongue around the head, licking it as he work in and out. The other girl pries herself away from my mouth long enough to grab the Wiimote and come up behind the brown haired girl, eagerly sucking away at my penis. She leans over and starts working the Wiimote in and out of her friends vagina, now dripping with fluid. She starts moaning while sucking my cock, imagine this sound, mouth full of my member and moaning loudly. I can feel myself reaching orgasm, I try to tell her, but my mouth won’t move, I’m lost in the heavenly sensation of her tongue and mouth. She pulls off just as I start to come and says, “Mmm, are you almost done? My mouth is getting-” She never finishes, I cum loads into her face, she gasps in surprise and more shoots into her mouth. She laughs and smiles, her friend still working the Wiimote in and out of her pussy, she licks the semen off her face as more spills out into her cleavage. Her friend pauses for a moment, just long enough to come around and lick the jizz of her breasts.

We fooled around for a bit longer after than, and eventually I showed them both how good I was at Wii Sports . . . among other things.

A Little Revenge

sometimesice — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 21:36:34 +0000

Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUCK!”. By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid. Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Ma’am, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.” And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is. I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob. I’m not really HIV Positive, but that little shit must’ve gotten in a fuckheap of trouble.

Baby Funeral Shenanigans

sometimesice — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 18:35:29 +0000

So today I was walking to work when I saw a funeral in progress at the cemetery. Since I was already wearing a suit (required for my job) and I was pretty early for work, I decided to pop in to see what was going on. I walked up the marble path, up to a rather large memorial service (about 250-300 people) for what appeared to be a baby that had died shortly after birth. The family really went all out, the tombstone was massive and the coffin had gold embroidering, really nice. The people looked about what you would expect, all dressed up, mothers were crying, and even a few fathers couldn’t hold back their tears.

Well about 15 minutes in, after the opening hymn, people started to filter up to the microphone to express their condolences to the family. The grandfather said some words about how everything is a blessing even if it doesn’t seem like it, the brother of the father reassured the family that, if they ever needed anything, that the family was there for them.

Then a man walked up, about in his late 40′s, and said “Although I don’t really know the family, or the deceased that well, I want to say, I’m sorry for your loss. I too have lost a child.” He walked from the mic, over to the families, shook their hand and walked away.

He didn’t know the family? So, it seemed ANYONE could say something at the funeral.

I straighted my tie, put on my most sorrowful expression, and walked towards the front. I approached the man holding the microphone and, in my most solemn tone, asked if I might say a few words. The man smiled warmly and handed me the microphone, completely oblivious to what was about to happen.

I turned to face the crowd, all intently looking at me with the most melancholy and tearful eyes you’ve ever seen. I cleared my throat and said my piece:

“What’s the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I DON’T FUCK A SANDWICH BEFORE I EAT IT!”

The crowd was horrified. The sound manager tried to unplug the speakers before I could finish my joke, but to no avail; he didn’t react fast enough and couldn’t get himself together before the punchline rang through the cemetery.

The crowd went fucking batshit. The reaction started with sheer shock and horror, and ended in a blind rage, with everyone, even some of the WWII veterans and grandmothers in the crowd, trying to tackle me to the ground.

With that said i started running as fast as i can, I was much faster than everyone there to my surprise. Good thing too, God knows what would have happened if they caught me. Probably have thrown me into the grave with their failure of a living baby. I had to run around for a bit, but I eventually made my way to the exit. I’ve never had so many lulz in my entire life.

What did you do today ?

Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

sometimesice — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 18:28:30 +0000

First, you must spread a thick layer of peanut butter onto the white part of a slice of bread. You can only spread the peanut butter on the white part, and the white part only. You may only spread peanut butter on one side. Spreading peanut butter on both sides will provide an inferior sandwich. Next, you must spread a thick layer of jelly onto the white part of a slice of bread. You can only spread the jelly on the white part, and the white part only. You may only spread jelly on one side. Spreading jelly on both sides will provide an inferior sandwich. You cannot spread jelly onto the same slice of bread onto which you have spread peanut butter. Also, you cannot spread peanut butter or jelly onto more than one slice of bread, as this will provide an undesired excess of either ingredient. Additionally, only peanut butter and jelly can be spread onto these slices of bread; no other ingredient will suffice, and no substitute can be used in a sandwich that is to be legitimately recognized as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Likewise, only bread may be the substance upon which the peanut butter and jelly are spread, as anything else does not fit the standards of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich; if the peanut butter and jelly are spread onto a culinary medium that isn’t bread, the meal at hand simply is not a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Once you have accomplished spreading a thin layer of peanut butter onto the white of one side of one slice of bread, and likewise has been accomplished using grape jelly on a separate slice of bread, you must match the slices of bread up to each other, forming a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. In this scenario, the peanut butter-covered face of bread must be facing the jelly-covered face of the second slice of bread so that the peanut butter surface touched the surface of the jelly. The surface of the peanut butter is not allowed to touch a jelly-less substance of bread, resulting in the jelly facing outwards, and likewise applies to the jelly. If a substance is found facing on the outside of the sandwich, the product will not be accepted as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The side with peanut butter and the side with jelly on it must match up and stick together to form one solid sandwich. When the eater picks up the sandwich, he or she must hold both pieces of bread at the same time, or else one slice will fall off, and eating only one slice of bread will not be recognized as the same or even similar to eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Next, you must take a bite of the sandwich. This action will consist of moving the sandwich within such a close proximity of your face that a small “bite” of the sandwich will enter your mouth for you to mash up with your teeth. This bite must be a bite that includes both slices of bread, peanut butter and jelly. Make sure that all obstructions are clear from the mouth and esophagus, not including peanut butter, jelly or bread or any combination of said ingredients. If you have followed all previous steps, this goal will be easily accomplished. Not doing so will create an incorrect and inferior dining experience and thus will not be a peanut and butter sandwich that is being eaten. However, if one successfully gets both peanut butter and jelly in one bite that fits in the mouth and does not result in choking, the dining experience is thus far acceptable. For your complete experience with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to be considered complete and unobjectable, you must perform the previously mentioned series of taking bites of the sandwich, chewing them, and swallowing them repeatedly until the entire sandwich has been removed visible existence. These circumstances may only be reached by eating the entire sandwich, and no parts of the sandwich may be thrown away or given to somebody else. This is your sandwich, and your responsibility. For the Dining experience to be completed, the sandwich must be completely digested. In the context of completing the process of consuming a legitimate peanut butter and jelly sandwich, there are no extenuating circumstances. Actions such as vomiting, surgical removal of the sandwich from the body, or placement of the sandwich inside the lungs opposed to the esophagus will not be taken into account, as they do not result in the complete digestion of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The process must come to a close via rectal excrement of feces that have been provided by the digestion of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Once the peanut butter and jelly sandwich-fueled feces have exited the rectum, they must remain free from the rectum to be considered conclusive in the process of physically processing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. If the feces re-enters the rectum, the process will be rendered a failure, and must be started again.