Good parenting

February 14, 2010

If i was a girl, i would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so i would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then i would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house, and i would do it until i had so many that the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses, then i would have a kid and when they’re bad i would make them sit in the fetus room.

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Cheeseburger

February 14, 2010

So, I was in McDonald’s the other day and this gorgeous girl, maybe 9 or 10, with a nice tight ass wrapped in a thong and shorts was in line in front of me. She got her food and was turning around and a cheeseburger fell off. She was amazingly fast and grabbed the burger midfall, bending over slightly and thrusting her cute little buttocks my direction.

It was all I could do to keep from eye fucking her right then and there. She turned and looked at me staring at her ass. I looked up, embarrassed. She just giggled. She asked “Did you like that?” I replied, “Yeah, that was an amazing snatch!” Well, one thing led to another. I’m now writing this from jail. Please send money for bail.

The ugly truth

October 28, 2009

How does it feel to be unattractive in this world where beauty means absolutely EVERYTHING for a girl? How does it feel to watch the guy you have a big crush on chase religiously after a HOT girl, and completely ignores you no matter how hard you try to get noticed? How does it feel to be never able to have your prince charming, and happily ever after, like you always dreamt? How does it feel to be with a loser boyfriend who you try very hard to like and only because you are way too sad and lonely?

Unattractive girls CANNOT BE HAPPY. It’s true, because beauty means EVERYTHING for a girl. It’s different for guys, a guy can be ugly, but if he’s strong and brave (Shrek), has a big heart (Hunchback of Notre Dame), or makes a lot of money (Trump), he can always get the most amazing beautiful girls and be happy. When is the last time you had an ugly or fat female protagonist in a story? Ever? It’s “BEAUTY and the Beast”, you never get “the Prince and the Manatee”. For girls, if you are ugly, no matter how successful or how much of a good person you are, no one will ever want you. It’s the sad truth

Women

December 21, 2008

Women are not actually attracted to men. There is a vague idea of what a man is physically, and some are better than others aesthetically speaking, but the purely physical appearance of a man is almost inconsequential unless he is horribly ugly or outrageously attractive. Women are attracted to status, money, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends and resources a man has, how full a man’s life is–how many “cool,” “exciting” and prestigious things he is doing or connected to. They are interested in how other people view him–how many people want to be around him, how other people interact with him and whether their interactions convey that he is special and amazing. They want him to be extremely outgoing and aggressive, they want him to demonstrate his status over other people by dominating them in various non-violent ways. A woman’s attraction to a man is a function of her jealousy at the thought of another woman having that man. She doesn’t care who he actually is or EXACTLY what he looks like physically, she only cares about the VALUE of the life he has constructed around himself.  A woman basically is a greedy materialistic prostitute. Although that sounds vulgar, it’s true. She trades her physical self to buy into the success a man has created for himself.  As a man, I fall in love with how a woman is physically. I fall in love with simple parts of a woman. Like the way her hair falls around her face, the line of her neck, her shoulders. They way her ears might peek from her hair. Her eyelashes. The size and shape of her hands, her fingernails. The way she walks, the way she looks when she is tired or annoyed, the sound she makes when she sneezes, coughs, or cries. The way she sits in a chair. The way she breathes while experiencing different emotions. The way her lips move. A million little things. Sure, a huge part of my attraction is mental, but the powerful seed of love that builds within me and crystallizes is based greatly on visual things that set off torrents of emotion and need. It seems to me that women almost cannot think for themselves. Their estimates of worth are based on other peoples’ estimates of worth. They don’t really find an object beautiful on their own. The object becomes beautiful when other people let her know that it is beautiful. I’m completely unable to reconcile the differences between men and women. It seems like success with women is equal to spending half of your life working to create a giant illusion, something vastly tiring and annoying, while sacrificing your own true self and your own interests. We construct our lives around nest-building. We’re like male birds building nests and showing them off to attract mates. It’s pathetic. Everything we do is to get women. It is a fucking shit deal. Someone needs to invent a drug which has no hormonal imbalance side-effects but is able to erase a man’s sex drive and attraction to women. It would increase productivity rates to incredible heights. I’d be free and happy. I’d feel complete.

Wiimote Threesome

December 7, 2008

So my dad is out of town for the weekend, and I figure I’ll just stay up getting high and fapping. Later in the afternoon, I’m a little blazed and the doorbell rings. I figure the neighbor kid lost another ball over our fence, so I answer it. Turns out it’s a couple girls I go to school with, they’re both stone cold foxes. I tried asking one of them out the previous year, but it kind fell through. They say that they were bored and decided to drive over and say hi since they knew my dad is out of town. I’m still pretty stoned at this point, so I just kinda mumble and invite them in. I ask them what they want to do, then, since I’ve got these two hot chicks alone with me at my house, I try to act funny and say, “You two wanna come downstairs and play with my Wii?” It was funny to me at the time, but for some reason they just looked at each other and giggled. So we went downstairs and I started up Wii Sports, since it’s easy to play.

I sit down on the couch and they both take a seat on either side of me. I hand them each a remote and instead of standing up to play, they snuggle up to me. I start em out on Tennis, and we’re all sitting there laughing at their attempts to play. One thing that really get them is how the Wiimote vibrates when they hit the ball. After a few games one of them says that she can smell pot, and asks if I’ve got anymore. Imagine my luck, two hot girls wanna get high with me alone in my house. So we all take a few hits, and they’re laughing harder than ever. We keep playing for a while, trying out different games, until one of them presses the Wiimote to her nipple as it vibrates. She does a real fake pornstar moan and laughs, but I can see her nipple standing out through the shirt. Right now, my dick is rock hard and almost poking out through my pants

I take the Wiimote and laughing with them say, “Watch” as I put it over my crotch and it vibrates. They think this is hilarious, but I can see that they’ve noticed my boner. One of them takes the Wiimote from me and does than same, except she’s practically jamming the Wiimote into herself through her pants. So here I am, sitting in my basement while these two girls are practically fucking each other with my Wiimotes. I’m thinking, wow, how much better can this get?

Then the one on my right takes off her pants. She’s not laughing, just smiling and saying “This thing is almost as good as what I use at home.” My mouth is hanging open, and the other girl is just laughing and watching. We’re in Tennis mode and she starts rubbing herself, moaning each time the remote vibrates.

Now the other girl takes my Wiimote and does the same, taking off her pants. This time, though, she goes right for it and jams the whole thing in herself. Without even thinking, I’m rubbing myself in my pants, almost ready to come. The first girl looks over at me and says, “What? Are you getting jealous?” With a smile she puts down the Wiimote and leans over, she takes off my jeans and my erection pops out through my boxers. She kneels in front of me, while the other girl starts kissing at my face. I was surprised I hadn’t come already, I guess it was the weed slowing down my physical functions. All I see is her smiling face inching down to my rigid cock mouth agape, the other one is watching too, rubbing herself while she jams her tongue into my open mouth.

I feel her warm, moist mouth envelop my cock. I can tell she’s having trouble getting it all in, but the feeling is amazing. Slowly she works my cock in her mouth, wrapping her tongue around the head, licking it as he work in and out. The other girl pries herself away from my mouth long enough to grab the Wiimote and come up behind the brown haired girl, eagerly sucking away at my penis. She leans over and starts working the Wiimote in and out of her friends vagina, now dripping with fluid. She starts moaning while sucking my cock, imagine this sound, mouth full of my member and moaning loudly. I can feel myself reaching orgasm, I try to tell her, but my mouth won’t move, I’m lost in the heavenly sensation of her tongue and mouth. She pulls off just as I start to come and says, “Mmm, are you almost done? My mouth is getting-” She never finishes, I cum loads into her face, she gasps in surprise and more shoots into her mouth. She laughs and smiles, her friend still working the Wiimote in and out of her pussy, she licks the semen off her face as more spills out into her cleavage. Her friend pauses for a moment, just long enough to come around and lick the jizz of her breasts.

We fooled around for a bit longer after than, and eventually I showed them both how good I was at Wii Sports . . . among other things.

Delicious Pancakes

November 11, 2008

So this girl invited me over to her house early one morning. She said she need help with math, and offered to make me breakfast for all my trouble. I figured hell free food and time with a OK looking girl why the hell not. So I get up around 5am to get at her house around 6. It was kinda hard finding the place because it was sorta tucked in back of this big forest. I get to her house and ring the door bell, only half awake. She answers the door in a very small tank top and short shorts. “Oh, hay you made it, come on in.” She said looking tired as well. I couldn’t help but wonder why she would want me to come some early if she wasn’t used to the hour ether? “Sorry about the mess and the time, this is about the only time everyone else is out of the house and I wanted to be alone with you.”

“Alone but why, I thought you needed help on math.” I said then felt instantly stupid. She smiled sweetly and offered me a seat at the table. “I have a big family, and they tend to be very nosy we wouldn’t have gotten anything done had they been here.” I nodded and sat down in doing so I got a very nice look at her ass which was actually very nice. “Do you like?” She asked me and I thought I had been caught, “Wait what?” I asked trying to keep my cool. “Do you like pancakes? I’m told I make some of the best, I even add different kinds of fruit to them. Also, I have some bacon and eggs going as well. Shouldn’t be much longer.” I nodded and she walked back into the kitchen, as the door opened I smelled the most wonderful smell ever.

I couldn’t help but follow her in the the kitchen where I saw some of the best looking pancakes I had ever seen ever. I couldn’t help but smile a big smile as I wondered what they would taste like. “I’m almost done, do you want orange juice or apple juice?” She asked me I told her apple and she poured me some from a chicken shaped kettle on the counter. I took it and drank it happily it was had the right amount of sweetness. “Why don’t you go and take a seat, we can get started after we eat.” I did as she said and sat down at my seat at the table.

Minutes later she appears with a bunch of big plates of food and sets them on the table. Then begins to dish out food for me putting over 9000 light and fluffy, blueberry filled pancakes on the plate in front of me, and some bacon and eggs on a separate plate. “There you go if you want more when your done with that just ask.” She then started to get some food of her own and I put syrup on my pancakes and took a big bite. It was the best thing I had ever tasted, ever. I hadn’t even realized it but I was making a horrible face despite how awesome they were. “Oh, is something wrong?” She asked me sounding really concerned for me, she got up and started rubbing my back. “No it’s just usually, I only have Reese’s for breakfast.” To which she screamed. “Candy, for breakfast?” “No.” I replied. “Reese’s puff cereal, it’s candy for breakfast!”

Abortion

October 19, 2008

Month One: Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two: Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I’m not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three: You know what Mommy, I’m a girl!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don’t like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can’t hear me.

Month Four: Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five: You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I’m not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what’s abortion?

Month Six: I can hear that doctor again. I don’t like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can’t get away from it! Mommy!! HELP me!! No…

Month Seven: Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus’ arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn’t you want me Mommy? We would have been so happy together.